kids say the darndest things: expletive edition

i picked max up from school yesterday and noticed a little tension between him, his teacher, and his classmates. they had trauma in their eyes. my first assumption was that someone had either had a bathroom accident on the reading rug or an upset stomach at the pencil sharpener. either way, these people had seen something.

 

 max walked up to me with his head hung and told me he had gotten "grounded" at school. 2 minutes on the wall at recess (or roughly 6 months in the state pen to a 6 year old).

now, max can be the orneriest of boys but he is also sneaky...and prides himself on rarely to never getting caught with his hands dirty. i couldn't imagine what he had done to get "grounded".

 

"i said sh#t." he told me.

just like that. so matter of fact.

"ship. sh#t. they rhyme." he says...

words can't describe the shock a mama gets when such a sharp word hits those tiny little lips. i'm not much for swearing, myself. it's not my style. but i had no idea max even knew about this word! he's tried on "damn" a time or two when he was younger and heard it on teenage mutant ninja turtles, and that was shocking enough. especially when he used it correctly in a sentence. but this! this was beyond me...

 

we had a talk in the car and max told me he learned it from his daddy this weekend. max decided to use this new word as collateral with his friends to get their approval and extra computer time.

 i called max's dad (jesse) to let him know what happened. he said things unraveled a little like this...

 

max: "daddy, i know a bad word...it starts with a ssshhhhhh"

(and they both chime in simultaneously)

jesse: " sh#t!?"

max: "shut up"

 

jesse: "wait...you meant shut up?"

max: "what does sh#t mean?"

jesse: palm to head

jesse tried to clear up the mistake by explaining to max that it was an adult word, and not a very nice one. they had a "never use it or you'll get in trouble" kind of conversation. and jesse thought he was safe.

but now max was burdened with a secret. adults have words that little ones aren't allowed say, let alone know about. he had to get this conspiracy out.

and he unloaded on the innocent ears of his kindergarten class. 

max is "grounded" for 2 more minutes during recess today. he told me last night he wanted to look into going to a different kindergarten for the rest of the year. i told him to go in with his head high, take your punishment, count to 120, and move on with your life. be a better man!

reformation is already taking place. but you can see this hard-knock life experience in his sad little eyes. and really i don't know how any of us can come back after "sh#t".